artnarcotics:

asgardreid:

sextronautt:

we live in a world where the pizza arrives faster than the police

Well the pizza driver faces consequences when their job isn’t done right.

!!!!!!!!!!

(via hereeyeam)

thugplant:

guys with voices so deep u can feel it in da clit

(via campbelltoe)

inspiring:

mom that cigarette pack you found in my bag??? its a metaphor

(via ohnoballoons)

"let’s be friends" doesn’t mean "try to ease into my panties over time."

zumainthyfuture:

dashendirekt:

realdwntomars:

tatted66:

realdwntomars:

black—lamb:

most guys never seem to get that….

I can finally accept that I won’t have any male friends.

Shit…they’re on to us Fellas

Lmao

image

image

(via halalwhitesauce)

danbutt:

"would you suck a dick fo-" yes

(via a--dreamdeferred)

"No one is a slut. “Slut” is a made-up word to keep women from having as much fun as men. A person who enjoys sex is just a person and a person who is a virgin is also just a person and everyone should lay off each other’s sex lives. Retire the word “slut” please."

20 Things We Need To Stop Talking About In 2013 (via fassadenmensch)

(Source: maarkhoppus, via nomoredoubledigits)

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via a--dreamdeferred)

"3 Things You Should Never Have Low Standards About:
1) Boys
2) Clothes
3) Coffee"

Margot N., preppylane (via preppylane)

(via marginallypoetic)

maniclaughter:

raggediandi:

ghostgif:

when you yell “puppy!” at a lil doge and they get happy and wag their lil tail like “yess!! i am a puppy!! a baby dog!!! thank you!!!!!!”

When you yell “puppy!!!!” At an old doge and they wag their tail and get all happy like “yes I am still a little doge thank you for noticing! !”

(via lightspeedsound)